NVR (Non-Violent Resistance)
A note from me to you
Parenting a child who experiences big emotions can be exhausting
You might find yourself constantly anticipating the next difficult moment, carefully choosing your words, or wondering how something so small can turn into such a big disagreement.
Perhaps you’ve tried explaining, reasoning, negotiating or setting consequences, only to find that the situation becomes more difficult. And perhaps, afterwards, you feel guilty about how things unfolded.
If any of this feels familiar, please know that you are not alone!
I first discovered Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) while desperately searching online in the middle of the night for ways to better understand and support H during her most escalated moments.
It stood out because it focused on connection, calm and parental presence rather than punishment or trying to control behaviour. After finding that some of the more traditional parenting approaches we had tried were not helping, I decided to give NVR a chance and explore whether its practical, compassionate strategies could make a difference for our family.
And this is where the turning point began.
What is NVR training and how does it work?
NVR stands for Non-Violent Resistance. It's a parenting approach designed to help parents of children and young people who display challenging behaviours, particularly those who may be neurodivergent. The central principle is that we change our response
Some of its key principles include:
Parental presence: Showing your child that you are there, you care and you aren't giving up, even when things are difficult.
Self-regulation: Staying calm when your child is dysregulated, rather than allowing their storm to become yours.
Co-regulation: Helping your child feel safe through your own calm presence.
Connection before correction: Prioritising your relationship over winning an argument or enforcing every demand.
De-escalation: Avoiding unnecessary confrontation, particularly when your child is overwhelmed.
Delayed response: Choosing the right time to address an issue rather than reacting in the heat of the moment.
Gestures of love: Small, unexpected reminders that your child is loved, even when things are difficult.
Support network: Building a network of people who can support parents and help reduce isolation.
When I attended Non-Violent Resistance (NVR) training as a parent, I began to respond differently to those physically and aggressively escalated moments.
I learned practical ways to stay calm, reduce pressure, reconnect after conflict and help H to feel safe and understood.
I also learned that this NVR strategy isn’t about:
perfection parenting;
allowing every unwanted behaviour; or
abandoning boundaries.
It’s about responding with greater calm, understanding and consistency, even when things feel incredibly difficult.
Most importantly, I learned that when H started to trust that I would show up for her, unconditionally (even in her most escalated moments), the aggressive behaviour started to come less often, it lasted for shorter period of times, and her nervous system recovery was quicker. All round, we were turning a corner.
So this is why I decided the make a digital parenting guide to NVR
A guide that explains what I learned in the training, why it worked for our family and how to implement them in yours.
The guide brings together personal reflections and practical strategies for moments when emotions are running so high that it’s hard to know what to do in the moment.
NOTE: I am not a trained NVR specialist, I do not have a qualification in NVR training.
I am simply a parent who has done it and has the experience to share, in real time!!
A guide from a parent who has attended and implemented the strategies from NVR (Non-Violent Resistance) training.